


CHIYO / 千代

by b0kuto



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Historical, Reincarnation, ushijima is the main guy tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:36:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24610129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b0kuto/pseuds/b0kuto
Summary: shall we keep chasing each other through lifetimes, or is it all just a huge mistake?4 lifetimes, 4 choices.0 / 零 - a king’s promise1 / 壱 - the king and his general2 / 弐 - the princess and her warlord (2 parts, run & crawl)3 / 参 - the one who had forgotten and the one who chose to remember4 / 肆 - the strangersーchiyo: the phrase translates to “a thousand generation”. y/n’s name in her first life is also chiyohime.EMO GUIDE1. now playing: i will go to you like the first snow - ailee2. read from chapt 0, a king's promise (in my works)3. read through the characters for this story. it can give a lot of hints to you.4. for 2ii, read the map bcos i will address each location by the name used in the map.5. cryme: crying for 10mins straight while typing out the last scene of chapt 2ii^that pretty much sums up this series
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader, Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader
Comments: 16
Kudos: 25





	1. characters page for 01

**Author's Note:**

> some of u guys wanted a sequel to a king’s promise, and personally i lovee that story so i’m here starting another project!! this is gonna be real emi stuff: history, emotional, angst, growth. it’s gonna be a crying fest & i’m very down for it!!
> 
> you can find chapt 0 in my works!!

## USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI / 牛島若利

> the king who chose duty over love.

inspired by Toyotomi Hideyoshi (豊臣 秀吉, 17 March 1537 – 18 September 1598), who was a Japanese daimyō and politician of the late Sengoku period regarded as the second “Great Unifier” of Japan.

## CHIYOHIME / 千代姫

> the warrior who won all her battles except one, the one in love.

inspired by Kaihime/Lady Hime (甲斐姫) (“hime” means lady, princess, woman of noble family). She was a Japanese female warrior, _onna-bugeisha_ from the Sengoku Period. She was the granddaughter of Akai Teruko, another legendary female warrior and one of the wives of Hideyoshi. She was known for her bravery and beauty. According to the chronicle of Narita clan, she was praised as “The most beautiful woman in east Japan”.（東国無双の美人）

## IZUMI / 泉

> the queen who hated to love.

as mentioned in a king’s promise, Izumi married Ushijima out of duty and a long-running peace treaty.

inspired by Yodo-dono (淀殿) or Yodogimi (淀君). She was a prominently placed figure in late-Sengoku period. She was a concubine and second wife of Toyotomi Hideyoshi, who was then the most powerful man in Japan. She also became the mother of his son and successor, Hideyori.

## HIROSHI / 浩志

> the byproduct of a peace treaty.

son of Ushijima and Izumi, successor to the throne. inspired by Toyotomi Hideyori (豊臣 秀頼) was the son and designated successor of Toyotomi Hideyoshi. His mother, Yodo-dono, was the niece of Oda Nobunaga.


	2. the king and his general

##  **PAGE ONE - IZUMI**

Izumi had never seen her husband display any sort of emotions. On her wedding night, when he unclothed himself to take her bare in, each touch was calculated to perfect precision: just enough to please her, never more than that. To be married off to another kingdom was her fate, and Izumi found herself lucky to be marrying a young, dashing king. But she was naive, because she took years to realize, her story with Ushijima Wakatoshi was one of the tragedies.

The first time she had seen him flinch, was the day when the war had ended. The valiant war horse leading the pack was missing its owner; and the gallant warriors who would never back down even in the face of death, looked defeated. It was a day when the country needed to celebrate, but none of its people could. The Supreme General, Chiyohime, did not return from the battlefield. When the deputy general walked down the aisle to present the treaty signed with its warring kingdom to Ushijima, he brought along a deadly fiery sword too. It belonged to Chiyohime; a twin sword to the one worn by Ushijima. It was the first time Izumi saw the hands of her king, her husband, flinched, as he took over the sword from the deputy general.

##  **PAGE TWO - WAR**

Ushijima had learned to look away, to nod instead of smile, to gesture instead of embrace. That was how he was supposed to love you. Until he realized being your king was to be your murderer.

“As all of you have already known, you have been summoned because a war was declared upon us today. We would not back down from this ultimatum; the military and financial capacities we have built up prepared us for today. It will not be an easy fight, but I trust you. And among all of us here, we all trust you, Supreme General.”  
“With honor, my king.”  
The room echoed her promise, but Ushijima could only hear his miserable plea in his head.

Come back safely to me, Chiyo.

##  **PAGE THREE - DAGGER**

Heartbreak had become a habit to you. You woke up to the memories of his hands around you when he pulled you into a passionate kiss; you escorted him down the wedding aisle, only for him to vow his lifetime of love and protection to another woman; you went to sleep with the haunting whispers of his words in that last letter. It would be okay, you told yourself that every day and night. But you only learned to befriend that dagger digging into your heart, to seek comfort in the pain carved onto your bones.

You never understood how people described love as a soft tenderness. To you, the dagger turning inside you, that was what love felt like.

##  **PAGE FOUR - ENEMY**

> this is written from the pov of the general who led the enemies. is this a foreshadowing? hMmM

There she was, Chiyohime, the warrior who was known for her bravery and beauty, slashing through swarms of my men. I had always wanted to have a duel with her, but sadly I couldn’t feel the strength in my missing right arm. She strode towards me, driving her long, bloodied sword into my heart.

“I have heard of you, Chiyohime.” I tried to play it cool but the blood spurting out of my mouth wasn’t helping.  
“So did I, General. Let’s have a proper greeting next time perhaps.”

As she hauled her war horse, readying herself to lead a victorious cheer, I let out a satisfied chuckle.

“Perhaps.”

The last thing I saw before I collapsed was the dagger I aimed at Chiyohime piercing through her left chest. How could I die without bringing you down with me. What was unexpected was the last thing I saw in this life: Chiyohime slowly turning towards me with such delicate grace, and smiled.

“Thank you.”

##  **PAGE FIVE - SWORDS**

Your grave was a little far from his. Ushijima wanted to break all traditions and carry your cold, still body into the king’s tomb, but he hated how heavy the duty of a crown was.  
“Your Majestic Highness, we should head back to begin the mourning ceremony in the capital.” Ushijima watched as the guards lowered your coffin into the graveyard, burying you into the earth.

“Wait.” A king’s command.  
Lowering himself in front of the grave, Ushijima drove your sword into the land covering your body. A puzzled shock murmur rippled through the crowd, as the king unsheathed his own sword, and plunged it into the spot right beside yours. Finally, the twin swords could be with each other. “They are not supposed to be separated, remember? “ Ushijima mouthed with his tremoring lips. Those words were forbidden for him to say out loud, and it was too intimate for anyone else but you to hear. Turning away from your grave, Ushijima felt as if he buried something away too. It was almost like another prank of yours, stealing useless trinkets from him, and he would only realize it months later. Only this time, Ushijima was angry about your prank, because the thing you took from him actually mattered. And it was only centuries later when he found it.

##  **PAGE SIX - DEATH**

_Five years later_

“Your Highness, it’s time for your daily medicinal concoction.” Izumi settled down the tray beside Ushijima’s side of the bed. She used to be panicky, always messing up the doses and temperature, but after years of practice, she had learned to quiet the unease.  
“Thank you, Izumi.” The same response that she had received every single time.  
Tidying up the tray, Izumi turned to leave her husband alone, just like how he preferred it to be, but a shaky hand caught her wrist.  
“Come sit,” Ushijima stared into the distance, almost as if he wasn’t talking to her.

“How many more days do I have before I die?” It was a statement, a statement that told Izumi he knew all along. Wringing her hands together, Izumi swallowed down her fear and chuckled.  
“I am sorry but excuse me, Your Highness? The doctor said you would be getting better as long as you take this concoction -”  
“The poison.” No accusation, no anger, but just plain utterance.  
Izumi took in a sharp inhale, the air in the room stilled, and she tried to make a sound but all that came out of her was a sobbing exhale.

“I know, I know right from the start. You have a tell when you lie, did you know?” Ushijima finally looked towards her, his eyes filled with the same shade of sadness. He recalled the first time when she brought in the concoction, a little more panicky than her usual calm and collected self. What gave her away wasn’t her shaky hands, but it was when she kept tugging her hair behind her ears. She had a perfect hairdo, none of her hair was dangling around her face.

With a muted thump, Izumi kneeled onto the ground, with her head pressed into the ground.  
“This is a treason I have committed out of my own will, please do not punish my family. I will take on all punishments, including death.” It was the first time she showed fear in front of Ushijima.

“Get up. Just answer my question.”  
“… Two nights from today.”  
“Good. I won’t repeat myself again, get up and sit down.” Ushijima glanced at Izumi, who still had her face buried into the ground.

“Now, I want you to remember every single word I am going to say,” The strong arms that once wielded swords and slain enemies almost gave in when Ushijima tried to sit up.  
“Firstly, I want to spend the last two days of my life in the summer house.” A faint smile drifted onto Ushijima’s face as he remembered the summers he spent as a child, with you.  
“Secondly, I want my body buried beside General Chiyohime’s grave. Of course, the whole burial ceremony will be held and all of my people will believe I have been buried in the royal tomb. But only you will know where my body is.” Izumi’s hands curled into fists. She almost wanted to laugh out; She saw this coming all along, but why was she still being an idiot and getting hurt by it? She was supposed to kill off her feelings as she slowly murdered Ushijima.  
“Thirdly, I have already written my will. You are free to retire from the queen’s duty after I pass and remarry in private. I have been guiding Hiroshi to inherit the throne for all these years.” It wasn’t relief that broke Izumi; it was the fact that the man whom she loved all these years did not even care who she loved.  
“Lastly…I am sorry that I could not be your husband.” Ushijima’s hands stretched out to Izumi’s. She could not bear to look up, she didn’t know what to expect. She was too afraid to fall for him anymore. He was supposed to die as the villain who ruined her.  
“Izumi, look at me.”

It was the first time Izumi saw her husband’s eyes filled with tears.

“Why?”  
“Because I failed as a husband. I have sworn to love you, but I do not have the ability to love.”  
“Have you ever been in love?” Izumi’s gaze was fierce, which puzzled Ushijima. It wasn’t a questioning gaze. It was an accusing gaze and yes, he was guilty. He was a criminal who had sworn love to her and chained her up in his shadows while he spent his entire life missing another person. He wasn’t unfeeling, the guilt weighed down on him every single day.  
“… Once.”  
“… Was it, General Chiyohime?”  
“Izumi,” looking away, Ushijima took back his hands, “remember the things I have said. I wish to rest now.”

“… Ushijima Wakatoshi, I loved you.” The queen spoke with such tenderness, but every word was coated with bitter hatred. Izumi did not hate Ushijima, she hated the fact that she had fallen in love with this man who unified the warring kingdoms, cared for his people and had always respected her more than any filthy men. She hated it so much so that she bathed herself in hatred, and planned out this murder. Yes, she was a selfish coward who was just too afraid to be in love with him anymore.

“Goodbye, Izumi.”

As Izumi closed the door behind her, the lingering echoes of her question stayed behind to keep Ushijima companies.

“Chiyo, wait for me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to explain Izumi’s character a little bit more. Her image in my mind is an extremely flawed woman who had to carry a perfect facade. Why is she extremely flawed? Because the way she loves is self-consuming. Yes, sometimes the person you love doesn’t love you back. And yes, it can be so painful that you would want to erase this person away. But her flaw was to let love consume her and make her turn it into hatred.
> 
> Why did I want to write such a problematic person? Perhaps I wanted to showcase how toxic one can be, without even realizing. I don’t like the L-word, because to me it’s of a tremendous weight. With all heavy burdens, there will be struggles to carry them. Sometimes this struggle is fighting our own demons.
> 
> Do I empathize with Izumi? Yes and no. There have been many tragic marriages in history because to them, marriage was a duty. So yes, I do empathize her helplessness. But do I empathize with her love for Ushijima? I don’t know. To be fair, her story has yet to be told. None of us, including myself, can judge whether her love is worth the pain.
> 
> I know this character analysis thing is rather abstract, but I think Ushijima’s queen deserved a narrative, even if it’s an ugly one.


	3. characters page for 02i

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello fam!! i've decided to split the second story into 2 parts so we can all take an emotional break before pt2 comes in like a wrecking ball heehhehehe (ಥ _ʖಥ) let's enjoy the fluff while we still can (ಥ _ʖಥ)
> 
> btw!!! totally recommend listening to i will go to you like the first snow by Ailee. i looped it for 5hrs while writing this and it RLY hits diff. ily all <3

**千代 CHIYO - 02i**

## SAITO ISAMU / 斎藤勇

> Ushijima Wakatoshi’s reincarnation. 

inspired by the samurai clan, Saito clan during the Sengoku Period. 

## CHIYO ∗ HISAHIME / 千代 ∗ 久姫

> Chiyo’s reincarnation. 

Although she still bore the name Chiyo, it is a private name that only the Royal family could use. Non-royals were forbidden to learn royals’ private names. Hisahime was the title + honorific used for Chiyo. 

## NONO / 乃ノ

> Chiyo’s personal servant who grew up with her

Nono switched between Hime & Chiyo when addressing Chiyo. This reflects the dilemma she had to go through being both a friend, and a subservient to Chiyo.

*I will adress Ushijima by his own name unless it’s in a dialogue/he’s being addressed by someone who only knew him in this life time.


	4. 02i. the princess and her warlord

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello fam!! i've decided to split the second story into 2 parts so we can all take an emotional break before pt2 comes in like a wrecking ball heehhehehe (ಥ _ʖಥ) let's enjoy the fluff while we still can (ಥ _ʖಥ)
> 
> btw!!! totally recommend listening to i will go to you like the first snow by Ailee. i looped it for 5hrs while writing this and it RLY hits diff. ily all <3

##  **PAGE ZERO - THE PAST**

Ushijima Wakatoshi remembered those years between life and death, gripping onto his memories desperately. As if looking through a dusty window pane, the past was something he could see, but not touch. Little did he know, the future was something he could touch, but not see.

##  **PAGE ONE - SAITO**

“Did you hear? The Saito clan’s warlord has been summoned by the Emperor.”  
 _The younger servants were chattering as usual, but the name Saito sounded painfully familiar._  
“Saito!? Isn’t that the clan who had a blind samurai?”  
 _Yes, Saito Isamu._  
“Yes! But the strange thing is, I have never heard of any other tales of him after the Korean acquisition. I wonder how did his story end.”  
 _Brutal, bloody._

Of course, the ending of Saito Isamu was not allowed to be written in history. How many years had it been, since the bloodbath at the Royal Palace? The image of Saito Isamu walking toward her was still vivid in my mind. And I missed her so, so much. My Hime-sama, are you chasing after him?

##  **PAGE TWO - NONO**

“Nono! Hurry! We have to get out now!”  
“But Hime… If the chief guard finds out I’m helping you, I-I will be killed…” Tugging at Chiyo’s sleeves, I was petrified. Even though I did not want to disappoint her, but my life was at stake. I knew this wasn’t the time to hesitate; We had been planning this sneak out for months when we heard the news of today’s warlord conference. Most of the guards, especially that persistent, cunning chief guard, would be on duty guarding the main tower in the palace.  
“Nono. Look at me. I don’t care about much in this damn palace, but I will never, never let anyone touch you. They will have to cross my dead body first,” there was not a single doubt in her fiery eyes, “you are my best friend.” My chest tightened and a harrowing warmth spread across it. How dare I see Her Royal Highness, my Hime-sama, as my friend?

“Alright, let’s go already!” In that brief second when I was distracted, Chiyo managed to drag me along, running towards the backyard of the laundry room. It was the only viable way we could exit the palace without alerting the guards. Panting behind Chiyo, I was still impressed by her stamina and stealth. The Emperor had never assigned her any martial art or swordsmanship class, where did she get all this athleticism? Well, Chiyo had always been peculiar: for a restless spirit like her, she’s oddly keen in history. Sometimes I would even catch her mumbling indignant remarks, correcting the slight inaccuracies in the Headmaster’s lessons. The strangest thing was how she would tear up in some lessons, reading over the same chapter over and over again, refusing to move on. The past almost felt like an old friend to her, familiar but a piece but poignant memory.

“C’mon, Nono. I will boost you up the wall first.” Chiyo squatted down beside the wall, patting her shoulders and signalling me to use her as a stool.  
“HIME!!! Please, I beg you, please get up! I will boost you up, t-there’s no way I can stand on you!” I glanced around the backyard nervously, hoping no one had seen this outrageous scene.  
“Tsk, hurry! There’s no way you can climb over the wall by yourself. I have enough strength so just do it, please?” She knew I could never say no when she said please with those puppy eyes. Gnawing at my lower lips, I stepped onto Chiyo’s back and reached for the top of the wall. To be honest, I was surprised by how experienced she was with this whole sneaking out routine. It’s our first time doing it, and she seemed to have the perfect plan. Gripping onto my ankles, Chiyo gave me a little jerk upwards, so I could fling my upper body over the wall like a sandbag. I, on the other hand, was sucking at this.

Taking a few strides back, Chiyo buffered herself with a short run-up. With one single jump, she managed to grip onto the wall and swing herself over the wall while I was still struggling to steady myself. Staring at my clumsy, flailing arms, Chiyo almost erupted into a boisterous uproar before I glared at her, stifling her laughter.  
“Hime, sssh! We have to be discreet until we are far from the palace.” “….Pfft… Yes yes. The wall isn’t too high, so let’s jump down together at the count of three, okay? Remember to land softly on your knees.” Chiyo gave me a firm nod and I responded with a similar nod, immediately convinced by her assuring gaze. At the count of three, I braced myself as I took the leap of faith, landing safely onto the ground.

“See! I told you!” Giving a huge smack on my back, Chiyo chuckled. The air outside the palace seemed lighter, filled with life instead of dread. Chiyo probably felt the same, as she took in a greedy inhale and exhaled with a blissful grin.

“Let’s go, Nono. To our first stop, the marketplace.”

Before we even reached the first shop, Chiyo’s steps halted to a sudden stop.  
“Him-Chiyo?” Calling her Hime would risk exposing our identity. But Chiyo did not respond. Her eyes were fixated on something, someone, and her lips slightly parted. It was not horror in her eyes, it was a hurricane of emotions I could never fathom.

**“Toshi.”**

##  **PAGE THREE - RUN**

Faster, I am not running fast enough.

Toshi, as promised, I am running towards you _first_.

##  **PAGE FOUR - BLIND**

Saito Isamu, that was his name for this life. How many lifetimes did he walk through, prowling the land searching for her? Maybe the gods above had enough of his meaningless chase, so this time, they decided to make it a joke for them.  
He was born without sight.

When others open their eyes to see a new day’s beginning, for Ushijima, waking up from his sleep was the start of his nightmare. Dream was the only place where he could see, and it was a place filled by memories of her. There were so many questions that blinded him from his search. Did his face resemble his first life as Ushijima Wakatoshi? What could her name be in this life? Is she even in the same cycle of reincarnation as him? Why must fate keep them apart?

Born in a samurai clan, the only comfort he had was his sword. The darkness in front his eyes heightened his other senses; he could catch a sound before it became a word, smell the slightest stench of blood on his enemy’s approaching sword, feel the almost intangible rumbling of the ground when a troop rode by in a distance.

After slaying hundreds of bodies for the Emperor, a tiny sparkle of hope was rekindled in him. So what if he could not see her? It shouldn’t have mattered. He would know her blind, by the way her presence lightened the air around him and her touch that softened his heart. He would know her in death, at the end of the world.

When he heard the approaching footsteps that were trampled by earnest yearning, and the name that she was mumbling repetitively, he knew.

His Chiyo found him.

##  **PAGE FIVE - KNOWING**

He knew. He knew it’s me. Because he turned around, and ran towards me.

##  **PAGE SIX - PROMISE**

She ran straight into his arms, her hands were torn between caressing his face and tracing the lines of his body. His hands had practiced for this moment ever since the first time he woke up in another lifetime.  
Pulling her against him with his right arm, his left hand sank its fingers into her silky hair and drew her in. His kiss was a devoring hunger, a violent passion that broke her. The thumb on her back still had the same habit of drawing tiny circles into her skin as he deepened the kiss.

Almost afraid of losing her if he ever parted from her lips, Ushijima whispered between her lips the words he had memorized. The one single thing he could not promise her in their first life together.

“I’m yours now, Chiyo.”

##  **PAGE SEVEN - HEAVY**

When I finally caught up with Chiyo, she had run into that man and delved into a ferocious kiss. It was the first time for me to see such a scene, but why did I not feel flustered, but sorrowful? The desperation shared between them, and what felt like an eternity of longing were suffocating; there was so much weight to the bond shared between them. I had no idea the story between the Hime that I grew up with, behind the high walls of that palace, and this man in front of her. The only thing I knew was they both carried a love too heavy for this world.

“Warlord, we need to meet the Emperor now.” A polite voice prompted the man from behind.

Warlord?

##  **PAGE EIGHT - QUESTIONS**

Warlord? Was he a head of a clan now?

Although Toshi had no intention of heeding to his subordinate’s prompt, I had so many questions to ask, at a place where there’s only the two of us. Willing myself to push against his chest, our lips finally left each other.

“Warlord? Toshi, who are you now?” I whispered.  
“Saito Isamu, the third successor to the samurai Saito clan. You?”  
Before I could answer him, I noticed the abnormal void in his eyes. He had the same face as before, unlike me; I was wearing the skin of another person, it took me awhile to get used to seeing it in the mirror. The only odd thing was his gaze; he was looking into nothingness.  
“Can you…see me, Toshi?”  
His tightened jaw and knitted brows gave me a clear answer. I didn’t know whether to be relieved that he wasn’t seeing this stranger’s face between his arms, or to be angry at fate for not letting him witness our reunion.

“I don’t need to, Chiyo. My heart will lead me to you.” He still had the habit of frowning while saying the most romantic words he could utter. Chuckling, I tiptoed and whispered into his ears.

“Saito-sama, meet me at the sakura garden, your Hime-sama will wait for you under the moonlight.”  
Toshi gave me a puzzled look.  
“Yes, I’m the Emperor’s sister, bearing the title of Hisahime, also known as, Chiyo.”

##  **PAGE NINE - PRESENT**

“Nono, you need to eat more! These clothes are even a little tight on me.” Changing into my extra set of kimono, Chiyo chastised. “You need to live a long and happy life, together with me.” It was a line that Chiyo liked to use, but this time a little different. She added the latter, ‘together with me’. After sneaking back into the palace, there was nothing but light and hope in her eyes. Her ethereal beauty, which was once frozen in time and laden by sorrows, was glowing now. For the first time, I felt like she’s living in the present.

“So the plan is, I will go and meet Toshi in your clothes, so I wouldn’t draw any attention. And you, my friend, will sleep in my bed so the patrolling guards won’t be suspicious.”  
“Yes, Hime.”  
“Call me Chiyo, I liked it.”  
“Yes, Chiyo…hime” I couldn’t help but add in the honorific. What I did not expect was the tight grip on my wrist.

“Please, never call me Chiyohime again.”  
She wasn’t angry, it was more of a plea that she left behind before she disappeared into the night.

##  **PAGE TEN - WARS**

I would sieve through all these lifetimes, and I would never go back to being Chiyohime. The person who won all the wars but the one in love. The one that mattered to me.


	5. characters page for 02ii

## SAITO ISAMU / 斎藤勇

> Ushijima Wakatoshi’s reincarnation. 

> **Isamu** / 勇: Bravery

Inspired by the samurai clan, Saito clan during the Sengoku Period. 

## CHIYO ∗ HISAHIME / 千代 ∗ 久姫

> Chiyo’s reincarnation. 

> **Hisa / 久** : Longevity

> **Hime / 姫** : Honorific attached to the name of a princess or a lady of higher birth.

Although she still bore the name Chiyo, it is a private name that only the Royal family could use. Non-royals were forbidden to learn royals’ private names. Hisahime was the title + honorific used for Chiyo. 

## NONO / 乃ノ

> Chiyo’s personal servant who grew up with her

## SAITO EI / 斎藤影

> **Ei / 影** : Shadow

Ushijima’s personal shadow ninja/guard. Ushijima adopted him into his clan when he found Ei stranded in a village.

## ENKAI ∗ HISAYUKI / 縁海 ∗ 久行

> Chiyo’s brother in this life, the Emperor of the unified Japan.

> **Enkai / 縁海** : Ocean of fate

> **Hisayuki / 久行** : A long journey 

The kanji _Hisa_ / _久_ was shared by the royal family. 

Enkai was the Emperor’s private name.

## KAZUNOBU / 一信

> The general who batteled Chiyohime in her first life, and managed to kill her just before he died.

> **Kazunobu / 一信** : One singular faith

## MIKOTO / 命

> The demon who guarded the Sanzu River, where the dead would cross to enter another life. 

> **Mikoto / 命** : Fate

I was inspired by both the Japanese-Buddhist concept of hell, Jigoku, and Yomi. Mikoto’s responsibility was to erase the memories of the dead, and decide what’s their fate for their reincarnation.

## TERMS EXPLAINED

**Yomi**

> the Japanese word for the land of the dead (World of Darkness).

**Sanzu River**

> a mythological river in Japanese Buddhist tradition. Before reaching the afterlife, the souls of the deceased must cross the river by one of three crossing points: a bridge, a ford, or a stretch of deep, snake-infested waters. The weight of one’s offenses while alive determines which path an individual must take.


	6. map for chapt 2i & 2ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I thought a map will help you guys with visualizing the final scene!!!  
> im rly hyped for the next chapt (will post at abt 1-2am Friday GMT+8!!) but i needa catch some sleep first before i edit the draft!! Took me wayyyy to long to design the map..

## 

## NIJO CASTLE / 二条城

**⌕ Laundry Room**

> The walls around the laundry room were the lowest in the palace, making it a viable way for Chiyo & Nono to sneak out of the palace in chapter 2i.

**⌕ Sakura Garden**

**⌕ Shiroshoin / 白書院**

> Chiyo’s Residential Chambers.

**⌕ Kuroshoin / 黒書院**

> Emperor’s Residential Chambers. The Emperor’s private study was also located in the Kuroshoin.

**⌕ Ninomaru Goten / 二の丸御殿**

> The Palace’s main garden, including the Kuroshoin, Shiroshoin and the Ohiroma/Great Hall (the building in **red** ). Ohiroma was the central core of Ninomaru Goten. It contains four chambers where the Emperor would meet his warlords.

*all locations explained in this map will be marked with an asterisk, *.


	7. 02i. the princess and her warlord - crawl

##  **PAGE ONE - SAKURA**

Ushijima was staggering a little. There was definitely too much to drink at the banquet held after the conference. Everyone was eager to give him a toast after the Emperor made his announcement, as if this would be his last time appearing before their eyes.

“Saito-sama, the sakura garden is just in front.” Saito Ei, reported to him. Ushijima first met Ei when he heard muffled cries when he passed by an impoverished village. Ei’s parents were murdered by their own neighbors who were blinded by their hunger. It must had been a gory sight because Ushijima’s could smell nothing but the metallic stench of blood. Yet, the little boy did not break. He was hiding somewhere, paralyzed by fear but still trying his best to protect his life. The life that was exchanged by his parents’ sacrifice.

“Boy, will you be my eyes?” Ushijima did his best to sound gentle and welcoming when he found Ei in the closet, “You won’t be safe, but I will feed you.” That was enough for Ei. Ei saw Ushijima as his only straw of hope, he held onto it and never let go ever since. After joining the Saito clan, Ei abandoned his old name to became Ushijima’s eyes and his shadow, Saito Ei.

“Thank you, Ei.” Before the last note of Ushijima’s words finished ringing, the shadow had blend into the night. He could smell it, the scent of blooming sakura. It would be a faint scent to normal people, but tonight, it was a strong intoxicant to Ushijima. She’s waiting.

Ushijima definitely bumped into a few branches before he finally heard that voice that brought peace to his mind.  
“Toshi.”  
Dying to make sure Chiyo wasn’t just another one of his dreams, Ushijima tightened his arms around her and drew her into his warmth. It’s real, she was here, right with him.  
“Did you drink a lot tonight? I didn’t expect you to pick up drinking.” There was a slight dent in her pitch, a tone that told him she was disapproving of his drunken state. Back in their first life, they both hated wine. Maybe they were too young when they snuck into the winery to steal a few sips. They both hated the burning sensation down their throats. They had enough bitterness to swallow down in their life, they didn’t need more.

“I miss you. You left me alone for so many cycles of reincarnation.” Under the influence of alcohol, Ushijima’s words were lathered in childlike emotions, raw and genuine.  
“What?! You mean this isn’t your second life?”  
Shaking his head, Ushijima gave her a tiny pout before burying his face in her hair. He knew Chiyo had a different appearance in this life. The lines beneath his fingers didn’t quite match the ones engraved in his memories. But this was enough.

Ushijima walked the Earth with many names. He was a struggling disciple under a famous poet, a farmer who died of famine when the drought hit his lands, and an orphan sold into a kabuki¹ crew. In every cycle of reincarnation, death was the only thing Ushijima looked forward to when he realized Chiyo was not there. Perhaps that’s why his past seemed so blurry in his head, like an aged painting. Or maybe, it’s a blessing for his memory to fade, so he would forget the excruciating details to have the courage to keep loving her.

Chiyo’s voice had a woeful tremor, and Ushijima felt the dampness on her face. The darkness before his eyes swirled into a grievous pitch black. It was the first time he learned that the color black, had different

shades and hues too.

“I’m sorry, Toshi.”  
“Don’t be.”

Because I am sorry, for I had to leave you again.

> kabuki¹: classical Japanese dance-drama

##  **PAGE TWO - AGAIN**

Chiyo barely made it into the room before her legs gave in, crumbling onto the floor.  
“Hime!” Jumping out of her bed, I scurried to lift her up, but my hands froze in midair.

I didn’t know how to pick up someone who was broken into shreds and shards.  
Without saying another word, I brought a blanket with me and covered her quavering body with it, and held her shaky hands all night long.

“Nono…he’s leaving me again.” When the first ray of sunlight hit the room, Chiyo finally made a sound. Her voice was so thin like a whisper, as if hushing it would make it all just a dream.  
“Who…is he?”  
“Toshi. Ushijima Wakatoshi. Saito Isamu.” I knew she did not finish; she wanted to say, her love.

##  **PAGE THREE - THE ROYAL SCROLL**

“Saito-sama, the Royal scroll has arrived.” Ei’s shadow was near.

It was the day after he said goodbye to Chiyo. She was so strong for him, holding onto a smile even though he could not see her. Her voice was raw and her fingers had dug deeper into his back. She was hurting, and so did he.

Swinging his naginata¹ down one last time, Ushijima struck another one of his men to the ground. He began training his men the moment he came back from the royal palace. This was one battle he could not risk losing. The callouses on his palms were cracking up after hours of training, and perspiration glistened his bare torso. Menacing scars sprawled across Ushijima’s body. It took him many life-threatening battles before he could roam the battlefield as the daunting, fearsome blind samurai.

> _“An incursion into Korea? … When?”  
>  “Immediately. He wants me to attack as soon as possible since the previous general had just passed on.” An underhanded but unsurprising decision made by his serpent Emperor.  
>  “How many soldiers?”  
>  “He did not disclose the details during the conference. The Royal scroll will be arriving to my place tomorrow.”_

“Warlord Saito Isamu, head of the Saito clan, come forth to accept the Royal scroll.” It was the same biting, cunning voice that first summoned into the palace. He was just sixteen, when he became the youngest warlord in history. That voice irked him. Everything in that palace irked him. When he entered the political game as a warlord, every step he took had the weight of not just his own life, but all the lives of his clan. As the Saito clan became a burgeoning power, his steps became even heavier with everyone watching him. To protect his clan, he needed power, but there was a delicate equilibrium to be kept. Too little, those scheming warlords, whose bloodthirsty eyes always preyed on him, would demolish him. Too much, the serpent that slithered around the throne would bare his fangs and snip off his head.

Passing his naginata¹ to one of his men, Ushijima walked towards his fate.  
“Saito Isamu, accepts the Royal scroll with honor.”

> naginata¹: (なぎなた, 薙刀) is a pole weapon and one of several varieties of traditionally made Japanese blades (nihonto). Naginata were originally used by the samurai class of feudal Japan.

##  **PAGE FOUR - WAITING**

It took Chiyo three days of sulking before she finally regained the strength to smile. Chiyo told me the story between Toshi and her. I wasn’t a stranger to myths and beliefs, but it was the first time I heard of people reincarnating with their memories.  
“How are you still remembering your past life? Shouldn’t we forget about it when we cross the Sanzu River¹?”  
“Yes, I was supposed to drink the waters of oblivion² that will erase our memories before we cross the Sanzu River¹. But I chose not to when Mikoto offered me a bowl of it.”  
“Mikoto?”  
“Yes, he’s this demon that gave us a new fate based on his testament of our doings.”  
“Did he tell you how you and Toshi-kun’s fate will be like in this life?”  
Chiyo did not answer, but her sorrowful eyes told me Mikoto did not tell her the ending of their story.

On her good days, she would tell me snippets of their stories as she picked out silks for her wedding gown. Their stories ranged from mischief in their younger days to the battles they found together side by side, with one half of their twin swords in each of their hands. Apparently, the tsuba³ of Toshi-kun’s sword was tailored to the shape of his left hand, so only he could wield it effectively.

At first, I was doubtful about their marriage. After all, she was a princess. A royal marriage was a political schema, and a princess like her was a tool in a larger plot. But that did not bother her at all.  
“If brother doesn’t bless this union, then I will leave this palace with him.“ Taking a hesitant look towards me, Chiyo asked, “Nono, will you come with me if I have to make that choice one day?” She didn’t need to hesitant, my answer would always be the same.  
“Always, I will follow you to wherever you go.”

There were bad days too, especially when we sneaked into the Kuroshoin* and eavesdropped on the latest updates from the frontline. There was never a piece of good news. Not only was Chiyo afraid, she was furious. I had to unclench her bloodied fists because she was digging into her own flesh. The dismissive and monotonous tone of the Emperor’s replies meant something: he did not care. And Chiyo had the same realization as clear as the day. It took her every bit of her mental strength to tame her rage, so she would not barge into the room and hold a sword at her brother’s throat.

Regardless of what kind of day it was, Chiyo would always ask me the same question every night.  
“He will keep his words, right? To come home to me and marry me.”  
“Yes, he kept his words even after decades of returning into this world alone. I’m sure Toshi-kun will find his way back to you.” I knew it’s cruel to paint a mirage for her, but she was so close to falling apart.

When we watched the Saito clan leading the troops out of the fortress, we knew Toshi’s journey home would be thorny. It was a doomed sight; the Emperor only assigned a hundred men to fight along the Saito clan, in what would be the toughest, bloodiest battle of the era.

> Sanzu River¹: a mythological river in Japanese Buddhist tradition. Before reaching the afterlife, the souls of the deceased must cross the river by one of three crossing points: a bridge, a ford, or a stretch of deep, snake-infested waters. The weight of one’s offenses while alive determines which path an individual must take
> 
> Waters of Oblivion²: inspired by the Chinese myth where the dead will be given a concoction of tea to erase their memories before moving onto their next life.
> 
> Tsuba³: Handguards of swords to prevent the sword from cutting its owner.

##  **PAGE FIVE - RETREAT**

“Saito-sama! There’s too many of them. We are only left with a few dozen men, we need to retreat!”  
He knew that, he knew that better than anyone else. Ushijima’s arms were sore after another day of battle, fighting off endless waves of Korean soldiers. This key border between Japan and Korea had been impenetrable for generations. Yet, the Emperor gave him just a hundred men, and a merciless demand on the Royal scroll.

_“I only expect victory from you.”_

To retreat now, Ushijima would return home as a criminal who failed to uphold the Royal command. But to keep fighting, more of his men would be dead. Most of the remaining men were the samurai from his clan, whose families he knew. The royal soldiers were fledgling recruits who barely even knew how to wield a sword. The moment Ushijima received the Royal scroll, he knew it was his death penalty. Either ways, the Emperor wanted him dead.

When did this plot even begin? From the warlord conference? Or from the moment he became a warlord of a samurai clan, a clan whose existence itself was a threat.

If Ushijima had never feared death in all his past lifetimes, this was the moment he became a coward who did not want to leave this world yet. Even if just a glance, he needed to see her just one more time.

“All of my men, retreat.”

##  **PAGE SIX - EI**

I couldn’t ignore the unease bubbling up inside me. The moment we reached the Japanese borders, Saito-sama told the rest to ride home immediately and be prepared. The unease inside me came from my gut feeling of what to be expected from tonight. After all the injured clansmen left, Saito-sama whistled those familiar notes that translated into my name.

“Saito-sama.”  
“Ei, I want you to go back with them.”  
“But-”  
“Because you will be the next Warlord of Saito clan.”  
His words punched all the air out of my lungs. I didn’t want to hear the rest of his commands.  
“I am your shadow. As long as you exist, I will be by your side.” _You were my only hope and will to live._

“I know, but I will not walk out of that palace alive.” How could him declare his own fate with such nonchalance? My blood was boiling in desperate rage that wanted to say ‘no’, but I knew him well enough. Biting on my lips, I tried my best to steady my hands and took over the family emblem from him, the emblem that marked the succession of leadership.

“Thank you, Ei.”

##  **PAGE SEVEN - QUIET**

Hiding behind the bushes that surrounded the Ninomaru Goten*, Chiyo was biting onto her nails anxiously. I was restless too, from what we heard in the Kuroshoin* two nights ago, Toshi would be returning from the battle, the battle that we lost. I wasn’t sure whether I was the only one who caught the slight uplift in the Emperor’s tone when he acknowledged the news. It should take the troops an extra night to travel back if they were severely battered by the war, which meant that they should be arriving home soon. Their return was filled with uncertainty and gloom. Not many samurai returned from a war as the defeated ones, most of them would commit seppuku in the battlefield itself after they had lost; we had no clue to what would happen to Toshi and his men.

What was even more unsettling, was the oddly quiet night. Most of the inner guards had been assigned to guard the perimeters of the castle instead, leaving the Ninomaru Goten* unguarded. It was almost as if, the Emperor did not want anyone to witness who would happen tonight.

When palace gates heaved out a low sigh as they creaked open, we knew he had finally returned home.

##  **PAGE EIGHT - ENKAI**

Toshi came alone, but the moment he walked through the gates, a group of Oniwaban¹ surrounded him and led him towards the Ohiroma*. Was he injured? I could barely catch a clear glimpse of him before he kneeled before my brother. Enkai, Emperor Hisayuki, stood outside the Ohiroma*, looking down at his defeated Warlord.

The sickening feeling deep down in my core told me this was all part of a plan. The content in his voice when the messenger reported Toshi’s defeat, made my stomach churn in disgust. Enkai wanted Toshi to lose this impossible war. Mikoto, was this the ending you saw for us?

“Emperor Hisayuki, I have failed to uphold the honor of your Royal command.”  
“Hmm.” Enkai was almost purring out his satisfaction.  
“My men had fought gallantly but the Koreans outnumbered us by a great margin. It was an impossible mission.” _and you knew it._

“So, Saito Isamu, are you accusing me now? Accusing me of lacking foresight? Or are you accusing me of sending you to your own grave.” The malice in Enkai’s words sent a bone-shivering chill down my spine. At the drop of the Emperor’s last word, the Oniwaban¹ unsheathed their swords and pointed them at this man who barely escaped death. There was no way Enkai would let Toshi walk out of this palace alive.

“I think you know I’m making no accusation, Emperor Hisayuki,” unfazed by his imminent death, Toshi used his naginata as an anchor as he stood up. His back straightened with that same unwavering determination as that warrior-king who fought beside me.  
“Drop your weapon, Saito.”  
“I just need to see one person before you kill me.”  
No, Toshi, you promised me you would return home and marry me. I had been waiting, _waiting_ and **_waiting_** to become your wife.

Turning towards the bushes where I was hiding, Toshi strode towards me. He knew I was here.

“Chiyo, I’m home.”

> Oniwaban¹: The Emperor’s personal shadow guards. Inspired by the original Oniwaban, which was a group of government-employed undercover agents, established by the 8th Tokugawa shōgun, Tokugawa Yoshimune. They were under the direct command of the shōgun and were in charge of undercover intelligence operations.

##  **PAGE NINE - STRIDES**

How could I not know she’s here. The moment I walked through the gate, I heard the sharp inhale coming from the bushes. In fact, the sound was made up by two breaths. Chiyo’s and Nono’s. As Enkai slowly revealed his ugly intentions, I could hear her fidgety hands ruffling through the leaves. You should have known better to hide at a safer place, Chiyo.

But at least I could reach you in just a few strides.

##  **PAGE TEN - PROTECT**

Before Toshi could land his first step onto his path towards Chiyo, all the swords pointing at him pierced through his torso at once. Crimson blood spurted out from his mouth, but he kept his lips pressed together, tightened into a faint smile, his eyes had never left Chiyo.

“ _No!!_ ” I didn’t even have the time to hold her back, and Chiyo was already running towards Toshi. Her cries were animalistic, and the visceral, heart wrenching pain in her voice tore my heart apart. Two of the Oniwaban pulled out their swords from Toshi and ran towards Chiyo, clamping her down before she could reach Toshi.

“Don’t touch her.” Despite having at least six swords plunged into his torso, Toshi’s warning was unfaltering. His hands gripped onto the sword that cut through his abdomen and used it to support him as he kept walking towards Chiyo. I wanted to run to her and free her from restrain but all I could do was muffling my wails behind the bushes.

In the end, I did nothing to protect her.

##  **PAGE ELEVEN - CRAWLING**

There was barely any air in my lungs as the Oniwaban pinned me down with their knees. I couldn’t even move an inch closer to him. He’s still looking at me even though his eyes could not see. The cries and shouts I was choking up became a mess of incomprehensible noises, but I needed to at least say I love you just one more time.

“Chiyo, don’t cry. I’m coming.” His clothes were drenched in his own blood, and every step he took was another stab on my heart.

“Slash his knees.” Enkai’s brutal command sent two strikes to Toshi’s legs, cutting him down to the ground. Seeing him collapsed to the ground, the Oniwaban finally pulled out their swords from him.

But he was still looking at me, crawling, towards me.

##  **PAGE TWELVE - CRAWL**

I just needed to hold you one last time. I wanted to at least pretend I finally held your hands in marriage before I leave this world and start my search for you all over again. I wanted to tell you I love you just one more time before my blurry memories forget how to speak those words.

I promised you, I would return home to you.  
No wounds, no swords and no graves could hold me down.  
I would _crawl_ home to you.

##  **PAGE THIRTEEN - CRAWLED**

Chiyo’s wail pierced through the night one last time when Enkai took a bloodied sword from his men and cut off Toshi’s head himself.

Toshi’s hands were still stretched out in her direction, just a few inches away.  
With all her remaining strength, Chiyo dug her fingers into the ground, _crawled_ towards Toshi and held his hands in hers.

##  **PAGE 0 - MIKOTO/FATE**

Although Mikoto had grown numb towards the stories of the dead, he did remember a few particular ones. He had a keen interest in twisted fates and tragic endings. To him, those stories were the rare masterpieces written by the gods above.

One of his favorite stories began with a king’s promise, and he wondered how they had been. Did they find each other? Well, tragic lovers would always trace back to each other and tear themselves into even more sorrowful pieces.

The first one that came to him refused to drink the waters of oblivion. Chiyohime, a legendary, victorious and charming warrior in her first life. She could have had everything, but she left the world with nothing because she chose the wrong person to love.  
“Are you sure? Remembering your past isn’t as important as you think.” Fate was stronger than blood, and it’s more persistent than you thought.  
“Yes.”  
“Hmm, alright. Chiyohime, you had protected your kingdom in your first life, and will be granted to be reborn into a safe place, surrounded by power and someone who loved you.”

The second one to reach him was Kazunobu. General of the Northern kingdom, he was another one to be honored by history. Although, he did seem to have one regret.  
“Kazunoba, known as the thunder beast of the North, you had fulfilled your duties as a warrior. In your next life, you would be protected by someone powerful instead, and you can finally put down your shield that have protected others all this time. Do you regret anything?”  
“I regret not meeting Chiyohime sooner.”  
“Interesting! What an interesting addition it will be… Haha… Then you shall meet her at the beginning of your fate this time. For now,” Mikoto pointed at the bowl of water, “drink up and have a safe journey crossing the Sanzu River.”

The third person was a tough one.  
“Are you sure? Remembering your past isn’t as important as you think.” Mikoto repeated the same question to the man before him, who also refused to erase his memories.  
Ushijima nodded with a grunt.  
“Ushijima Wakatoshi, king of the Southern region, you had protected-“  
“Will I be in the same life as Chiyohime?”  
“… I’m not done-”  
“Will I?”  
Rolling his eyes, Mikoto rubbed his throbbing temples and shook his head.  
“No. The one unforgivable sin you had committed in your first life was suicide.”  
“No. I was murdered.”  
“You knew about the poison and consumed it for years intentionally.”  
“…” Ushijima narrowed his eyes at Mikoto, as if trying to convince him with those stares.  
But no one could rewrite Mikoto’s testament once it had been written down. And he was sadistic with his own personal flare: he punished sinners by forcing them to relive their pains of their sins.  
“You will be reborn into various lifetimes before you can be in the same cycle as Chiyohime. This is a punishment for you to learn the weight of a life and how you will never have the power to undo it.”

The last person was someone he had been waiting for. Just like his own sadistic personality, Izumi was another person who had been twisted into a coldblooded serpent, with venomous hatred running through her blood.  
“ _Izumi_ , my fellow protagonist of tragedies.” The icy beauty in front of him was void of any emotions. She was tired, drained by the emptiness that shadowed her despite having to achieve her goals.  
“Wife to Ushijima Wakatoshi, but could never be his love. Your unforgivable sin was to murder the man you have loved all your life with your own hands. Remarkable, I would say.” Mikoto clicked his tongue in devious satisfaction.  
“You will be reborn into a prison, where you can never return to that naive, caring and loving Izumi. For the rest of your cycles, you will be born with blood thick with rancor, and die with the same emptiness you are feeling now.” Watching Izumi’s eyes widened in horror, Mikoto chuckled.  
“In your next life, you will be born as Enkai. Emperor Hisayuki, ruler of the unified Japan, brother to Chiyo,” his last words trailed off in a sinister laughter.

“Yes, the woman that you wanted to be for your entire life.”

## UNTANGLING THE FATES

Let’s take another look at some of these character after we have pieced together everything! 

## SAITO ISAMU / 斎藤勇

> **Isamu** / 勇: Bravery

The reason why I chose the name Isamu is that Ushijima needed **courage** to keep loving Chiyo. 

❝ _Perhaps that’s why his past seemed so blurry in his head, like an aged painting. Or maybe, it’s a blessing for his memory to fade, so he would forget the excruciating details and have **the courage to keep loving her**._ ❞

The key question is, how do people keep their courage alive?

## NONO ∗ KAZUNOBU / 乃ノ ∗ 一信

> **Kazunobu / 一信** : One singular faith

Surprise!! Yes, the general who wanted to have a fair and square duel with his respected enemy was reborn as Nono. 

❝ _I regret not meeting Chiyohime sooner._ ❞

❝ _Interesting! What an interesting addition it will be… Haha… Then you shall meet her at the beginning of your fate this time._ ❞

Just like what Kazunobu’s name had suggested: he was a simple man guided by one singular faith. He respected Chiyohime and the warrior spirit running in his blood drew him to her. Also, as a reward for his contributions in his first life, he was supposed to feel loved and protected by Chiyo, and live a simple life. But let me just reference back to a line during the final scene.

❝ _In the end, I did nothing to protect her._ ❞

Well, I can’t expand much on it yet, but one of the reason she/he wanted to protect Chiyo was because she/he loved her.

## ENKAI ∗ HISAYUKI / 縁海 ∗ 久行

> **Enkai / 縁海** : Ocean of fate

> **Hisayuki / 久行** : A long journey 

SIKE!! Y'all thought Nono will be Izumi’s reincarnation, SIKEx2!! I guess Izumi’s two names in this life pretty much summed up her fate. She’s trapped at the bottom of this ocean of fate, and she had to walk a endless journey to repay her sins.

One symbolism that I tried to emphasize was snake & poison. She wasn’t born to be such a vicious being, but she tainted her own hands with Ushijima’s blood because of her twisted love. 

For someone who once had light & kindness in her heart, an unbearable punishment would be taking that warmth from her soul for eternity. Therefore, Mikoto decided to entrap her with the chains of her fate: the fate to be reborn again & again as a malicious snake whose cold-blooded heart could not never feel warmth.

## MIKOTO / 命

> **Mikoto / 命** : Fate

I did consider whether to turn Tendou into Mikoto, but I didn’t want to mischaracterize him so I made Mikoto into another original character like Izumi. 

Why he took an interest in Izumi was becaue he probably was just like her, breathing and living a tender life. But becoming a demon who had to spend an eternity beneath the Earth, reading stories of the dead, that had made him into a somewhat sinister being. 

To people suffering in constant pain, they tend to befriend that darkness and harness it as a pleasure instead. 

Although Mikoto could decide what kind of life the dead should be given, he could not control how earthly events turn out to be. Every decision made by a living being would change the course of its destiny. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is _Mikoto isn’t behind this tragedy_. It’s just **a series of unfortunate events that entangled their fates into a sad symphony**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah…im still traumatized…
> 
> the very very first draft of this story was abt a blind ushijima x deaf chiyo, who never knew they were just right next to each other.
> 
> but i had noooo inspiration from that and i was scrolling through my emo spotify playlists, and i will go to u like the first snow came up, and bam. goblin inspired me. for those of u who have watched goblin, yall will know one of the very first few scenes, where the goblin returned from war only to be killed by the king in front of his sister. yeap, that was the scene that inspired me to write the final bloodbath @ Ninomaru Goten. 
> 
> I tried to keep this short, but if I skim through any of these pages, the story will not look as layered/alive. Inspired by the histories, architectures and characters from Sengoku Period all the way to Edo, quite a lot of research was done and I truly enjoyed reading through Japan history & mythologies. 
> 
> The whole Yomi/hell/Sanzu River/Water of Oblivion was inspired by a mixture of Japanese mythology, Japanese-Buddhism and Chinese mythology. Tbh, this yomi/underworld is what I have imagined in a lot of the stories I dream about. I didn’t want to confused anyone by throwing out random terms, so I included the footnotes. Hope they are not too boring!!
> 
> To be honest, if you read the character list, a HUGE hint will be their names. I chose all the kanji characters based on the meaning of their life. Except for Nono, bcos I wanted to rly keep her identity as Kazunobu’s reincarnation hidden. I also just rly like the name Nono HAHAHAH
> 
> Okay, now, onto the story. 
> 
> There are a LLLLOOOOTTT of links & hints being thrown around. An example would be Ushijima’s mental speech on the power balance. 
> 
> “Too much, the serpent that slithered around the throne would bare his fangs and snip off his head.”
> 
> The symbol of serpent/snake has reverberated through this chapter. Only at the end, Mikoto explained its meaning when he met Izumi. And yes, I kept Izumi’s identity all the way to the end. 
> 
> Izumi’s story will probably end here. Even if I try to bring her in again, there will be nothing much/interesting to talk about. Because like what Mikoto had said, all her future lifetimes have been predestined to be trapped in this coldblooded spirit. 
> 
> What’s next? Chapt 3 will feature a special character (from hq!!), and you will realize i’ve been planting a lot of hints for chapt 3 in this story. The kind of pain in chapt 3 will be different from this. 
> 
> I think my fave part of this chapt is how heartwrenching it is when you’ve finally found the light in your life, only for it to be taken away again. 
> 
> I didn’t just want to write EMO emo, i wanted to build a world where we can slowly invest ourselves into the story. That’s why politics, war and different forms of relationships are key elements in chiyo. 
> 
> I enjoyed writing this one so SO MUCH!!! please lmk what do you think about it!!!! <3 I love all of u so much ;-; MWAH!!


End file.
